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Joke of the Day

"*bakes 12 cookies* *waits for family to come home* *eats 12* *family arrives* 5 year old: ""I SMELL COOKIES!"" ""Weird! Here's a salad."""

"Yoda: ""Mmhhh, why 5 afraid of 6 is?"" Because 6 7 8"

"2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers... carry on."

"Me: You can't arrest me. I have to run a marathon today. Cop: Stop playing the race card."

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"A day without sunshine is like, night."

"When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs? before 15:30 ... ^I'll ^show ^myself ^out"

"If I had a year to live, I would spend it with my ex... because it would be the longest year of my life."

"Want to get your kids attention and make sure they hear what you say? Start whispering something to your spouse."

"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one."