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Joke of the Day

"who called it an infinity scarf instead of a scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"What did the remote controller say to the tv? I know he turns you on but man, that guy just pushes my buttons!"

"ME: I wonder if it wrestles cutely too? ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the panda enclosure. ME: lol. No. *gets mauled to death by panda*"

"Ann: I wanna break up Ed: why? A: you use time travel to manipulate me E: when, exactly, did you start to suspect this? A: well... Hey!"

"1998: stop playing pokemon and go outside 2016: stop playing pokemon and come inside"

"What is a Golden retriever's favorite sex position? It doesn't really matter, as long as its ruff."

"Fisherman: What are you fishing for sonny? Boy: I'm not fishing I'm drowning worms."

"I asked my friend from North Korea how he was doing. He just shrugged and replied, ""I can't complain."""

"What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ? This is the end of me !"

"I saw an image of the Virgin Mary on a pumpkin! It squashed all of my doubts... And, reinforced my faith in Gourd."