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Joke of the Day

"Well, a wasp just flew into my house and I hope the fire department gets here soon."

"I like the pink cans of mace because looking adorable while preventing rape is very important to me."

"In the words of my dead grandmother..."

"What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality"

"[NSFW] What does a condom and a wife have in common? They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"Here's a nerdy joke: If you use 8 bits from a Macbook, are you taking a bite from an Apple? Crunch."

"What do you call a horse at night? A Nightmare"

"When I was younger, I always heard of people getting robbed at gunpoint. If there's been so many robberies, why do people keep going to gunpoint?"

"Aliens are in space right now watching all these movies where Tom Cruise defeats them, and they are laughing so hard one just peed a little."

"BOB: Hey boss can I get another raise SCROOGE: But I just gave you... B: What's that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?? Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!"