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Joke of the Day

"Aliens are in space right now watching all these movies where Tom Cruise defeats them, and they are laughing so hard one just peed a little."

"Sometimes I zone out and forget what I'm supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer."

"If it's any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day."

"A man was found dead in an ice cream van covered in nuts and sprinkles Police say he topped himself"

"Next time you decide to complain about your problems, just remember, some guy out there has Snooki as his mom ..."

"WHAT DO THE TEENAGERS CALL...... What do the teenagers call the Asian red light district? Vachina Town"

"Some Days I Wake Up Grumpy Some days I let him sleep."

"What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus? Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over *his* body"

"Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots."

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry Ben is in a coma"