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Joke of the Day

"Why do Chinese people sound like lions when you tell them a joke? Because they ror."

"How does ISIS turn on their water heater? They light the pilot on fire."

"Damn girl, you're like the first slice in a loaf of bread Everyone touches you but nobody wants you."

"Guys, I think I just came up with a new joke! Why don't they drill holes in golf clubs? Cause then there would be a hole in one!"

"I'm going to rehab I realized I need help when I stuck my dick in coke and my razor in a hooker"

"""You fancy my best friend, don't you?"" asked my wife. ""If given the choice..."" I replied, ""I'd rather have sex with you then her."" ""You mean 'than'."" ""No."""

"When cute black and white bears start communing with spirits, it's pandanormal."

"A horse walks into a bar... ...and the bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse replies, ""I'm finally starting to realize that my alcoholism is tearing my family apart,"""

"Whats the best part about sex with a pregnant woman? You get a blowjob from the fetus."

"What did the mexican fireman name his 2 children? Jose and Hose B"