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Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: Wives do not find it hilarious when you add a bunch of extra candles to their surprise birthday cake. I know this now."

"[meeting the parents] Do you have one in blonde?"

"What do you call a cheap wig? A small price toupee."

"What is the most masculine profession? Maleman"

"Liverpool I've been to Liverpool and never walking alone is actually pretty good advice."

"A man just came up and threw milk in my face. How dairy."

"How do you throw a party in space? You planet!"

"Criminal on the electric chair. The officer asks: Any last wishes? The criminal: Please hold my hand"

"Wife: can you change the baby Me: oh thank god. I'm so glad you said that. Yes, yes I will Wife: I don't mean swap it for a new one Me: ..."

"Read more Apple jokes"