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Joke of the Day

"Men are like shag carpets. Soft fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on."

"We shouldn't point out other people's grammar mistakes because one day it will be you're turn. Yore turn. You are turn. Goddamn it."

"I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook."

"Three friends were casually talking. -I bumped into my Russian friend yesterday -Vladislav? -Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!"

"Adulthood is the moment you switch from taking the occasional drug to trip out, to taking the occasional drug to feel normal."

"This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by: **Nike** *""Just Do It""*"

"There was this ancient pagan ritual where they would hit the ground with sticks and shout out. Today we call it golf."

"What do you call a joke without a punchline??"

"*high fives self* *misses*"

"Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt: ""You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?"" Kid: Nevermind ""Yeah, me, too."""