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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."
Next Joke
"So funny I forgot to laugh. Me: *tells bad joke* Buddy: That's so funny I forgot to laugh! Me: So is that what Alzheimer's is like? Buddy: That's so funny I forgot to laugh!"
"What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends? The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends."
"Nobody is as conflicted as a Jewish zombie about to eat Kevin Bacon."
"WhatsApp..... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person is typing... Person says: hi"
"What did one eyeball say to the other? Between you and me, something smells."
"Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce"
"What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison? An escapea"
"Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine!"
"If you ever feel like you can't do something, just remember... Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominated film."