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Joke of the Day
"Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes is out of shape. Yoga pants."
Next Joke
"Went to my daughter's netball finals yesterday. What a semi."
"The toilet bowl was stolen from the local police precinct last night. The cops have nothing to go on."
"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""
"The past, the present, and the future all walked into one bar. It was quite tense."
"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."
"Asked my friend when the finals would end. ""Finals never finalize."""
"Any crime sounds better if you add the word ""silly"" to it: ""silly murder,"" ""silly rape,"" etc."
"What did one stereo say to the other... What did one stereo say to the other when he got called down to the office for having no bass? ""Oooooh you're in treble"""
"Just got 30 orange oval stickers printed that read NOW HAMSTER FREE I'm putting them on all the meatloaf packages in this supermarket"