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Joke of the Day

"People believed in Jim Jones but... Sadly, he switched to KoolAid and lost a lot of followers."

"Why did the felon have so much energy? He was well arrested!"

"English Speakers There are more English speakers in China than in the United States."

"I bought myself a snail to race other snails.. I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish"

"If a one-legged woman is named Ilene, what do you call her after a few drinks? Tipsy, and an easy lay."

"Two old men sitting on a porch... There is a dog licking himself in the front yard. One old man says to the other, ""Man, I wish I could do that."" The other replies, ""That dog would bite you."""

"All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me."

"*getting caught filling up neighbor's trash can* Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?"

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy After all he did kill Hitler. Then again... He killed the guy who killed Hitler."

"Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for ""located"""