73353

Joke of the Day

"I'm sure without any training, I can sky dive.. Only once"

"Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I'd look out the window for that."

"Don't be fooled - orca whales are just penguins set to widescreen 16:9 instead of the usual 4:3."

"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"

"There is nothing worse that realizing the vacation you planned is going to be the same week as her period."

"Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing"

"So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says : - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ? - No ma'am, CANCER !"

"My compass I have a compass, but instead of North, South, etc, it just points to Orc's, so when people ask me for directions, it's always orcward."

"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, your pets in tupperware, your grandad in a crockpot and your mother in law in a ziplock bag."

"the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words"