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Joke of the Day

"Knock, knock... Who's there? Daisy Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!"

"That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died."

"How can you tell an introverted Techie from an extroverted Techie? An extroverted Techie looks at *your* shoes when he's talking to you."

"FREE HOROSCOPE: You look terrible today. Avoid stuff and people. Don't buy a Kindle. Also, brush your teeth more often."

"ISIS ""Preventing the theft of unattended baggage since 1989"""

"Just asked someone for their date of birth for a work insurance thing & it was 4/20/69 & I just went dead silent for at least 20 seconds"

"I now have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Warning: Alcohol may make people appear more fcukable than they actually are."

"The clinic asked me why I had written an incorrect blood type on my form I told them it was Typo"

"In Hinduism, cows are sacred, are to be revered and certainly should not be eaten. However, the Christians eat Jesus' corpse."