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Joke of the Day

"If you ever feeling worthless, just remember that Gotham City has a police department."

"My second account is trying to drive a wedge of suspicion between me and my Twitter crush."

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."

"No pain no gain but also no pain no pain."

"The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating."

"What language do Fed-Ex drivers speak? Parcel-tongue"

"I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting."

"Woman's Logic: Bikini No problem. Bra and underwear: OMG DON'T LOOK!!!"

"Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? She was a woman."

"i couldn't tell you, officer, they were wearing masks, they could have been any group of armed anthropomorphic turtles"