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Joke of the Day

"What was the Sci-fi remake of A Streetcar Named Desire? InterSTELLLLLLLAAAAAAAR"

"I bet the first thing that happens after you die is you get charged some sort of fee."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard"

"I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please. Oops. Wrong sub."

"We're just two people shitting in side by side stalls waiting for the other person to go out so we don't have to show our face"

"""What should we name them?"" Grapes ""And what about these?"" Grapefruits ""I see. So one is a larger version of another?"" Not at all ""Perfect"""

"Why is it hard to break up with a Japenese girl? ...you have to drop the bomb twice in order for her to get it."

"I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep. Edit: WOW my top post is now a bestiality joke. Thanks guys :)"

"People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like ""Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."""

"[interview] Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? Me: ""OMG I'M NOT A PSYCHIC THE SIGN SAID NO SKILLS REQUIRED!"""