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Joke of the Day

"Remember, in a few days this'll be last year."

"The ATM told me, ""Not enough funds in account,"" when I tried to withdraw. This ATM needs a bigger account."

"I can't believe that they only taught us abstinence during sex ed! It's inconceivable!"

"How can your make 7 even? Take away the ""S"""

"What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder? Banging your best friend's wife every night!"

"We had a muslim friend.. Who was always late to the class. We used to call him 9/12. Edit: he is still my best friend."

"How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it."

"Sexist Joke alert why do they say Lady's first? because its the best for last"

"Why Don't Jews Like Ions? They prefer their molecules free of charge."

"Did you hear about the dog who had sleep apnea? He had to get a C-PUP machine."