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Joke of the Day
"What do lesbians in Alaska sing? What would you do ew ew in a Klondike bar."
Next Joke
"What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle? I got my ion you."
"Whenever I talk to a Mexican I feel like there's some kind of barrier between us It's about 4 ft high, made of wood and there's usually a cash register on top of it."
"All this time I wondered why birds were out to get me. Turns out I just had a chip on my shoulder. #blood"
"Which burgers love to act? Ham-burgers!"
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it takes nine visits."
"What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it."
"Asked my dad to pass me a screwdriver. So he gave me a double vodka and orange juice."
"Driving today I kept seeing protest signs. They all said ""End Road Work."""
"mugger: GIMME UR MONEY ""All I have is this $5 grandma gave me on my birthday"" [mugger pulls off mask revealing grandma] IT'S PAYBACK TIME"