72909

Joke of the Day

"What is the key to being a successful and lucrative locksmith? There isn't one."

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"Want to hear a joke? Windows vista"
"Why do Kenyans always win marathons? At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-"
"I should make a gym that only accepts fat people I would get tons of business, tons"
"Roses are Red, Violets are blue... ...I've got Alzheimers, cheese on toast"
"Every day I try to learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice."
"Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know."
"How many girlfriends have you had before me? She asked casually, as she sat on the edge of my bed pretending to be interested in my Warhammer catalogue. Fucking stupid question."
"Hey, are you BB-8? (harmless spoiler) Coz I'd like to fix your antenna ( )"
"What do women and linoleum have in common? If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years."