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Joke of the Day
"Self control (sorry if offends you) I stopped a girl getting raped today. I used self-control."
Next Joke
"I remember back when the media didn't have to invent names like ""polar vortex"" to tell us that it is cold during winter..."
"A bear and a rabbit are both taking a shit in the woods The bear says, ""Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit: ""No, not at all."" So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit."
"Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa? Too many Cheetahs."
"Don't you hate it when you're reflecting on life...... Then you realize you're a mirror. Thanks came up with this a bus ride I'll see myself out."
"What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs? Methed Up"
"My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes. > HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!"
"Thanks to home security commercials, I am now terrified of middle aged white men."
"What do you call a limbless swimmer? Bob."
"Purifying yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka Not as effective as NyQuil"