72509

Joke of the Day

"One time I got stuck holding a Starbucks door open from 2005-2007."

"I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving... luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer."

"Morning radio DJs are just reading the Internet to old people."

"My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back."

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

"A little old lady walked into the bank cashed a small check and started out. Passing the armed guard she smiled and said ""You can go home now."""

"The worst thing about being told you got Alzheimer... Is it just doesn't happen the once."

"I think Facebook is ruining my life. I'm going to log off and I'm not coming back...for at LEAST an hour!"

"What do you call gonorrhea that takes a long time to show up? Slow clap."

"I went to the library and asked for a book on rohypnol. That's the last thing I remember."