72425

Joke of the Day

"Two fish are high on heroin playing basketball ""Oh man"", says one fish. The other fish replies, ""What, you hooked?"" He says ""All net."""

"[shows up late for first day of new job] *blames it on rush hour* [shows up late for second day of new job] *blames it on rush hour 2*"

"Never make fun of an overweight person with a lisp. They're probably thick and tired of it."

"DBZA Joke! Frieza: How do you work the Dragon Balls? Nail: Did you work the shaft?"

"I don't mean to brag, but I just completed my 21 day diet in 3 hours and 15 minutes."

"*watches you carefully arrange the piles of paperwork on your desk *waits for you to finish *sets fan to ""oscillate"""

"Wrong hole. No. Still the wrong hole. Only ONE in each hole! Ugh. Here! I'll show you. -Helping my kid put on a swimsuit."

"My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't destroy my phone"

"When People Tell Me to Get a Life I take theirs."

"""is this the Krusty crab?"" No! This is Patrick!"