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Joke of the Day

"Please write my tombstone in Comic Sans font."

"For Sale: Starter motor for Perpetual Motion Machine. Only used once."

"Quebec lovers Why do Quebecers like to make love doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!"

"We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were ""Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"""

"What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough? He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share."

"I know Greenwich has a mean time, But do they have a happy hour?"

"10 just informed me that exercising releases inner-dolphins. If that's not a reason to exercise, then I don't know what is."

"What would LMFAO's hit song be called if they were Russian? ""I'm Slavic and I know it"""

"""Do it!"" Nah, I don't wanna. ""Come on, man!"" No way. ""It'll be fun!"" I don't know... ""Do it for the Vine!"" Oh alright. *Hitler invades Poland*"

"What is the opposite of an autistic? A Socialist."