194810

Joke of the Day

"10 just informed me that exercising releases inner-dolphins. If that's not a reason to exercise, then I don't know what is."

"Kids, rap music has been around since 1979, we've all heard it. You aren't being edgy by playing it loudly at an intersection."

"the hardest part about hitting a child in public... is avoiding getting caught by their parent's."

"My mating call in winter is just me shaving my legs."

"Dayum girl, did you fall down from heaven? Cuzz ur face is fcked up."

"Can't believe it's already been 10 years since you had to pay for music."

"Sardine Wife: ""What's wrong?"" Sardine Husband: ""I just need some space, Linda."" Sardine Wife: ""WHERE EXACTLY SHOULD I GO, KENNETH"""

"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise"

"When I was young, I played the triangle in a reggae band. I just used to stand at the back 'n' ting."

"Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you to get off your ass and do things."