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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait until humans move to a new planet and someone says, 'Remember having 24-hour days?' and some jerk responds, 'First world problems.' -Geoffrey Asmus"

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"What two words have the most letters? Post office."
"I was going to read a book on the male reproductive system today... ...But, unfortunately, the bookstore informed that it never came."
"""Wanna go camping?"" ""No thanks, I have a house."""
"How did Jim start losing weight after the holidays? He just quit eating cold turkey."
"what do you call a chinese millionaire? Cha Ching"
"I just remembered the fuck out of the titans."
"If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately"
"How does Moses make beer? Hebrews!"
"""I'm smart. Everyone else is stupid"" - everyone"