72277

Joke of the Day

"I got my kid a cat as a present, but it died before X-mas... Now I'm stuck taking care of a cat"

"How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? He does lots of bare-obics."

"Mom 1: My son loves gluten free chips. Mom 2: Asher eats everything organic. Me: My son had a chocolate donut and a booger for breakfast."

"What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium."

"What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply? Pb & J."

"Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is ""Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?"""

"My wife and I decided not to have kids The kids are taking it pretty hard"

"Massacre between rival musicians at the Symphony Orchestra today, . Authorities have condemned this act of Violins"

"What have men and spray paint in common? One squeeze and they're all over you."

"Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge."