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Joke of the Day

"WARNING ! ! ! This is a VIRUS . . . When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN.. U are a BITCH Beautiful Intelligent Talented Cute Hilarious r u smiling now? ? ? ? *YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*"

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"in canada if you pat your pockets to show a hobo that you have no change and he hears your keys jingle, you have to give him your house."
"What book do conservative casino workers love? Trump: The Art of the DEAL"
"[ouija board] ""helo??"" YOUR... SPIRIT... ""shh its working"" WILL... APPEAR... ""omg"" AFTER... THIS... AD... ""dude why didnt u pay for this ouija board??!"""
"Job hunting tip: Leave the facial piercings at home. Hard to get hired when you look like you fell down a flight of stairs with a tackle box"
"ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know"
"Did you here about the female thief? I heard she was a mistake"
"When asked which is more important looks or brains? 9 out of 10 zombies said ""braaaaiiiiinnnnssss"" number 10 ate the researcher."
"Why do white guys hate black guys so much? Because their sisters love fucking black guys more than them."
"Hi I'm German... Did you really expect me to make a joke?"