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Joke of the Day

"Ferguson, MO In the after hours bars where the cops in Ferguson hang out, the most popular tipple is a 'Jim Crow': that's a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Old Crow - served separate, but equal."

"A pond would tell you about introspection if it wasn't so busy self-reflecting."

"If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god."

"I like my women like I like my third games in a series by Valve... I think they're gonna be great, but they never seem to come."

"Case closed Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"If you want to confuse a teen just ask them what the opposite of literally is."

"Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He's very serious about trying to make the USA grate again."

"3 gays in a hot tub A bubble of semen rises up, one looks at the others and says ""OK who's farted?"""

"Who is a golfers favorite singer? ...birdy :P"

"I've been wearing the same clothes for almost 7 years now because a girl wrote ""never change"" in my middle school year book."