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Joke of the Day

"Whether my dreams are good or bad, waking up is always worse."

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"What is black and white and red all over? An Orca on a Japanese whaling ship."
"I got fired from my job doing porn... I had all the dedication in the world but too many times i came in too early."
"Interviewer: Why should we hire you? Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison."
"Gosh, hell must be really awkward. I mean there's Hitler, and all the Jews."
"Reddit you say? Yeah, I redd-about-it. *rimshot* PS: Sorry for subjecting you to this horrible fucking joke."
"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide"
"The biggest cause of paedophilia in the world today... ...sexy kids"
"What do fat chicks do in the summer? Stink."
"Someone Told me that Airplanes are the Safest Way to Travel... Now my friend has a Cessna in his living room..."