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Joke of the Day

"I'm 22 years old now and my eyesight is worsening,... ...at what point do I get adult supervision?"

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Jumping on a trampoline naked is an awesome way to see the past, present and future of your body."

"A man walks into a bar... Because he forgot he was in Jail"

"Who called it death by autoerotic asphyxiation and not final fantasy"

"Me: Put on your seatbelt. 13: Do I have to? Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield 13: cool Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!"

"In this sentence, their are exactly three errorrs."

"A girl called me ""sir"" today and I was so angry I took off my suit of armor and stormed out of Medieval Times."

"Ok, so, for some reason, my lesbian neighbours just gave me a brand new Rolex... I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"I'm at my most audacious and brazen when I shamelessly use words like audacious and brazen."