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Joke of the Day

"I'm 22 years old now and my eyesight is worsening,... ...at what point do I get adult supervision?"

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"tight pants What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? no ballroom."

"I had a jacket stolen from me tonight. My enemies will stop at nothing to keep me from maintaining a comfortable body temperature in style"

"If you drop your cellphone in water put it in a bowl of rice... It will attract an Asian who will fix it for you. (just heard from buddy of mine)"

"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but they'd have to be really small."

"Han and Leia never planned on having a baby. They decided their form of birth control would be the pull-out method. But Han shot first."

"Oh, you want me to watch everything you have in less than the one-month free trial period? Challenge accepted, Netflix."

"""Look slightly worried."" - picture advice from The Singer/Songwriter's Handbook"

"From now on non fiction and fiction books shall be referred to as Fo Reals and Not Fo Reals. Pls pass along,"