71867

Joke of the Day

"I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month."

"Walmart stopped selling hoverboards due to safety concerns. In case you were curious about those empty shelves between the guns and the ammo"

"CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube."

"Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking."

"This year for Lent, I'm just giving up."

"Neeeeeeeooooowwwwwwwwwww What do we want? Race car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwww"

"Women are always complaining that I make too many 'dick' jokes but I don't understand why. I mean, that's the only part of me guaranteed to make them laugh."

"i wanna see the masterchef jr deleted scenes that HAVE to exist of gordon ramsay calling a kid the c-word for trying to julienne a snickers"

"I have nothing in common with people that learn from their mistakes"

"Two guys were watching a marathon on tv. One says to the other, ""why are they running?"" ""to win the prize."" ""who will win the prize?"" ""the one who finishes first."" ""then why are the others running?"""