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Joke of the Day

"I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard. ^Someone ^please ^slap ^me. ^EDIT: ^Even ^better, ^this ^was ^a ^shower ^thought ^too..."

"It's getting cold in here So take off all your clothes Then we can make a fire with them"

"Two friends meet after a long time. First one: Hey, you have changed a lot. Second: Yes, I just updated my software to latest version."

"What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono."

"It's like the people who drive Smart cars don't even realize that other cars are an option."

"I've never pretended to be something I'm not... Except sober. I've pretended to be sober before."

"German men like their women like they like their beer Full."

"I have no idea why these women called me a massaging gymnast All I said was that women belong in the kitchen."

"Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond Bond, James Bond."

"I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, its still not enough."