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Joke of the Day

"*goes to the park* *spoon feeds red bull to the ducks*"

"I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last ten years."

"""Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern."" ~ Me at McDonald's on pay day."

"Has anyone mastered the art of nonchalantly walking past a policeman?"

"Why can't you escape the angry forest? Because there are mad trees."

"My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"What's the difference between Kim Jong Un and Hillary Clinton? One is called ""The Great Leader"" and the other, ""Great Deleter"""

"No one really cares, but I love it when people give me rats to have sex with. Who gives a rat's ass?"

"95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics."

"What do you call a porpoise that acts like a Nazi? Adolfin'"