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Joke of the Day

"95% of my tweets are the truth. The only thing I lie about are statistics."

Next Joke
 
"Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy."
"Hamburger A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says ""Sorry we don't serve food here."""
"When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young!!"
"Ladies, don't wear skinny jeans, if you have no skinny genes."
"Why does Teller piss everyone off when he leaves a party? Goes without saying"
"Shout out to all the girls that got pregnant last night and don't know it yet"
"I was sexually assaulted by a colourful Rodent today!!! His name was 'Hue Mongoose'"
"It's not my fault that I'm lazy. It walks in the family."
"My wife said yesterday... That I don't listen to her..I said: OK, sounds good"