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Joke of the Day

"If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids."

"Patient: The trouble is doctor I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don't worry I don't expect anyone will notice."

"How do you pick up a jew? Dust pan and brush"

"Why was Dr. Dre kicked out of the farmer's market? He kept dropping the beets."

"DUI checkpoint cop: sir, have u been drinking tonight me: define sir"

"Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*"

"Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners"

"I think my husband is psychic! ""Honey, what do you think of this outfit?"" {from other room} ""You look great!"""

"Did I ever tell you about the guy who had a visectamy? He said it didn't work, all it did was change the color of his kids."

"What's long,hard,and full of Seamen ? SS This Dick. naval battalion"