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Joke of the Day

"Those ""Speed Enforced by Aircraft"" signs don't understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16."

"What branch of the military are horses in? The NaaaaayyyVY"

"I think my dad messed up the ""birds & bees"" talk when I was a kid because now I can't look at a sparrow without getting horny."

"[Calls number written on my windshield with lipstick] Hi, you left your number on my car. Who's going to clean this?"

"What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry."

"What's an emo's favorite file type? .rar"

"Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius... I've been using money."

"Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike? Because it's probably your bike"

"The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password."

"Ever since I joined a French pedophilia group.. (Xpost r/imgoingtohellforthis) I've been on Claude, nine."