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Joke of the Day
"I lost 50 pounds once sadly I was in England at the time."
Next Joke
"what is the difference between a crook and a politician? A crook will steal before he runs, a politician runs before he steals"
"I'm so tired of hearing people complain about being hung over. Just stop your wining."
"Ever heard of a sex position called a 71? Its a 69, and each partner puts a finger up their partners butt!"
"What did the monkey say when he was on a winning streak? I've banana roll lately."
"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in the microwave til his Bill Withers."
"[Every restaurant ever] Manager: ""Has he got a mouthful of food?"" Waiter: ""Yes."" Manager: ""Go and ask him how his meal is."""
"How do skeletons kiss Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone."
"NSFW What's the difference between sex and lunch? Depends on where you put the cucumber. Worked in a fruit and veg shop, guy stopped me packing cucumbers to tell me that."
"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those who do not."