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Joke of the Day

"It sucks when you get to work early but then shit for so long that your boss thinks you came in late. I need a ""I'm Here But Shitting"" sign."

"Why the java programmer wear glasses? He couldn't C#"

"The teachers could tell my wife & I were embarrassed by our son's grades when we showed up to conferences with paper bags on our heads."

"What do fishermen say on Halloween? ""Trick-or-trout!"""

"I accidentally muted the command switch on my driverless car... ...well, it goes without saying."

"What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra."

"Vasaline is the key to having sex with your spouse after having children... *Just stick that stuff on the outside of the doorknob and the kids can't turn the knob to get in."

"She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time."

"Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows? They're making head lines..."

"Are you the enemy of my enemy? Asking for a friend."