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Joke of the Day

"You don't notice the air, until someone spoils it."

"What is a Skeletons porn-star name? Mr.Boner *edit I give this partial credit to that guy that sells meth on the street he-he."

"If ""Precious"" is based on the novel by Sapphire, ""Twilight"" is based on the catalog by Abercrombie & Fitch"

"""I need to find somewhere to park,"" I told my wife. ""What about over there?"" she said. ""I can't,"" I replied, ""It says between 1 and 9 only."" ""Well, why is that stopping you?"" ""I'm 23."""

"I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!"

"What did the potato name his son? Chip. Sorry."

"Birds are dinosaurs? No. I want dinosaurs here or I want them completely gone. I don't need a bullshit imitation dinosaur to shit on my car."

"Want to make sure you don't walk in on anyone masturbating when you get home? Try opening a bag of chips quietly when you get to your street"

"How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life? He found a lump on his testicle."

"Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa? [2 gals 1 cup](http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my_20_trip_to_the_local_latin_market_netted_165/)"