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Joke of the Day

"Gin is the Ionian mode of liquors... it will always resolve with tonic."

"I'm not hungry but I'm going to eat these Oreos because they're there. Americans."

"A white guy walks into a bar... exam. He passes and becomes a well respected lawyer."

"[at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. ""Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine"" Strong smokey undertone"

"I believe in ten years, gifts for newly born baby would be a SIM card and a cell phone."

"What do you call a short sleeved British shirt? A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me."

"I said to my Doctor, ""I've become a can of deodorant."" He said, ""Are you sure?"" I replied, ""No, I'm Lynx."""

"Russia's Three Steps to Homework Step 1. Putin it off Step 2. Stalin Step 3. Russian to finish"

"What did pancake Chip say to his friend pancake Berry when Berry was sad? ""Don't feel blue, Berry, things will get batter"""

"What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card? One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets."