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Joke of the Day
"How to paint a live flamingo: 1. Get a live flamingo 2. Paint it"
Next Joke
"It remains a puzzle . . . It remains a puzzle why a bra is singular and panties are plural."
"I walked into a disabled toilet It was autistic"
"I used to not get on with my mother-in-law but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!"
"Johnny: Will you marry me? Jenny: You have to ask my father first. Johnny: (later) Well, I asked him. Jenny: And what did he say? Johnny: He said he's already married."
"What's the difference between a reindeer, a knight and a cock? The knight is slaying dragons, the reindeer is draggin' sleighs."
"It's like my mother always told me, ""If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."" Then she said I looked fat."
"Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me."
"I eat my poo joke Knock knock...Who's there? I eat mop...I eat mop who?"
"What does apathy sound like? I'm Ellen Pao, AMA"