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Joke of the Day

"FB makes HS reunions awkward. Hey, I haven't seen you 20 years. So how was that nap you took this afternoon?"

"Glad to live in a time where being social doesn't require making eye contact."

"What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"How do you conufuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"Why did the Rabbi stop buying beer? Hebrewed his own"

"I LOVE THE IDEA OF BOWSER LOVINGLY FOLDING A FLYING RACCOON SUIT AND PUTTING IT IN A TREASURE CHEST FOR ME TO FIND IN HIS DUNGEON."

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"Anyone can be an American unless you're Mexican."

"What do you call a blind deer? No Idea. (Hopefully you will get it, repeat twice if you have to) Edit: In case you don't get it, its No Eye Deer. [No Idea]"

"Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left it."