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Joke of the Day

"Russian Standard is a vodka and American Standard is a toilet. Russians are all drunks and Americans are all full of shit."

"If a seagull lives by the sea... If a seagull lives by the sea, what do you call a bird that lives by the bay? A Bay Gull"

"If you ever catch me staring blankly during our conversation it's because I can't remember if it's my turn to say words or yours."

"Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains."

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"Nobel Prize Who ever invented Knock, Knock Jokes should win the No-bell Prize."

"""Let me ax you something."" - a very generous lumberjack and you're a racist."

"Yo mama is so fat that when she went bunggie jumping in a yellow dress everyone was screaming the suns falling!"

"Falafel is a weird name cuz I actually falgreat every time I eat one"

"""This is so wrong,"" I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut"