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Joke of the Day

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish."

"PROFESSOR X: Quick! Magneto, save that bus full of kids! MAGENTO: I think you've got the wrong guy. *turns everything purple*"

"What do you call a gorilla with a harpsichord? A silverbach."

"How many particles are there in a vaccum? It doesn't matter."

"Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi."

"Do you know why Turkey couldn't see the solar eclipse? It's been censored there."

"How do you kill a German? Put them in front of a red light in the middle of the desert."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i closer together... Because *you* are an *idiot*."

"Why could the witch never get the enchantments right? She forgot to use Spell Check."

"I've been trying to give myself a sexchange... but I just can't pull it off."