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Joke of the Day

"[sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start"

"I bought a tiny chili pepper plant today. I wanted to spice up my apartment."

"I typed ""married"" but it was auto-corrected to ""martyred"". Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence."

"So, I was bragging about watermelons look like to my friends now she says we cantaloupe."

"I've been watching the Netflix series about Escobar, but I keep falling asleep... I think I have Narco-lepsy."

"With all the racism talk going around I thought I would do my part to put a stop to it. I am no longer going to use the word ""Vinegar"" at work because it sounds slightly racist."

"Louie C.K.'s Honda Civic joke at the Oscars Really struck Accord"

"What's Dee Barnes favourite headphones? Beats by Dre"

"""Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."" ""Some, I assume, are good people"""

"What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtian."