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Joke of the Day

"I played a game of poker with a leper. He threw his hand in."

"Got a booty text from my ex-husband so I did the logical thing and forwarded it to his new girlfriend."

"I knew a website with a lot of zelda stuff But I forgot the link."

"How do really posh dogs send messages? By predigree-mail."

"The Venn diagram of ""stuff I was supposed to do today"" and ""stuff I did today"" is two separate circles and the second one is a pizza"

"Where did little Lisa go after she got hit by a truck? Everywhere."

"A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way."

"A man walks up to three old ladies. He flashes them his penis. The first two ladies immediatly had a stroke. The third one didn't dare touch it."

"Hey, are you -273.15C? Yeah, I'm 0K thanks."

"Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces.. For example, I'm going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed."