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Joke of the Day

"How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb? Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!"

"They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain't going to shift your beer belly is it."

"What was the first thing the emcee said at the pornography convention? Thank you all for coming!"

"If sex with 3 people is a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome."

"Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger? Because it can't break the ice"

"Why was 110 afraid of 111? Because 111 1000 1001"

"ME: Who is your favourite philosopher? PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher?"

"why do hens have no tits? 'cause roosters got no hands"

"That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology."

"What's grey and comes in pints? An Elephant."