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Joke of the Day
" What do you think about sex before marriage? Well, as long as it doesn't delay the ceremony..."
Next Joke
"What's on TV? My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ""What's on TV?"" I said, ""Dust."" And then the fight started..."
"You shouldn't be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal."
"Drank the liquid from my Magic 8 Ball and now I can predict the future with even less accuracy than I could before."
"*makes third wish* Lastly, I want to be irresistible to women. [Transformed into really nice handbag] Dammit."
"What's the difference between a 13 year old girl and a cow? No really, what's the difference? I accidentally mixed up all the meat in my freezer."
"Now that it's abandoned nudes, I hope Playboy goes with its other major brand identity and becomes a magazine about a very fancy rabbit."
"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"
"If you have 99 problems... ...you're a math textbook."