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Joke of the Day

"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME I READ THE HEADLINE OF AN ARTICLE I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT"

"Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though....."

"The wife asked me, ""When you're on a business trip away, do you think about me?"" Apparently ""Only to stop myself from cumming too quickly"" wasn't the right answer."

"Google Glass, for everyone who's ever thought, ""I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE"""

"I wrote a book about a man that chokes to death on his own fart. I've called it: ""Gone With The Wind""."

"Life's a bitch, 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws at the end of its paws, the other's a pause at the end of its clause."

"Why should you never ask people with Down Syndrome to use a printer? They always make an extra copy"

"Common sense: Walk away. Me: No."

"Why didn't Jesus cross the road? Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross"