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Joke of the Day

"It's not possible to have a 12 inch penis... because then it would be considered a foot."

"What do you call an emo on a hiking trip? Cliffhanger."

"Dog Walking Business Idea: 1. Train every dog to walk another dog. 2. Put the dogs in a dog walking circle. 3. GO TO A MOVIE!"

"Waiter what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ? Skiing sir !"

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."

"My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding. You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that."

"What do you call someone who puts a picture of themselves in a locket? Independent"

"Me: If you don't like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom. 4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?"

"I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today"

"Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve breakfast"""