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Joke of the Day

"What do people with two left feet wear? Flip flips"

"how many hipsters does it take to put in a lightbulb? its a realy obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"Why couldn't Bill Gates get any girls? His hardware was Microsoft"

"Trump isn't the scariest president. That Rushmore guy had four heads..."

"I was going to buy a greek yogurt today, every little helps. Come on guys, lets pull together."

"I hate the people who shout ""THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP"". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore? You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez."

"How to make her squirt: make sure she is a lime"

"If you know there's going to be a nuclear attack, surround yourself with a bunch of microwave popcorn. Awesome last image."

"I cut my finger on a beer can, I now know how Julius Caesar felt when he was betrayed by his best friend."

"Great weight loss tip: Become an astronaut."