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Joke of the Day

"This ones for those college students and there finals This is really just a good analogy. Finals are like plastic surgery, you go in with A's and you come out with D's!"

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"What did the Mexican prostitute give to the donkey after the show? Jorge."
"""I like big butts and I can not lie"" - Some homeless guy sifting through an ashtray."
"Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure."
"I have 12 fish, 5 drown how many do I have left? 12! Fish cant drown! (Dont be that guy and tell the truth about fish drowning)"
"What is a suicidal person's favorite card game? Bridge."
"I wanted to tell you a joke about egoists... but I'll keep that one for myself."
"How do you hold an umbrella for a feminist without offending said feminist? She doesn't need one. The glass ceiling keeps her dry."
"What do you call a fat person who likes trance music? Trans fat"
"This census and Tax stuff is crap. I want to live in a country that doesn't assign homework."